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Interview with Kaoru Ogiwara

관리자

2018.06.19

 


 

Delicate Zone Committee #06_ Interview with Kaoru Ogiwara, sexual goods maker producer
Who is Kaoru Ogiwara?
- Producer of Lovelypop
- Established Lovelypop, a sexual goods shop for women, in her age of 27
- Also has a Psychology consultant certificate
- Author of two books: “Vagina Training”, “Love Training for Adults”
Child bearing and having sex cannot be separated. Having sex is just a natural thing if you would like to have a baby. However, at home, nobody talks about sex. It’s not hard to hear, “I don’t want to have sex any longer” from friends. What if sex is a real wonderful, magical and a thrilling thing, are there somebody who would like to stop having sex?

So far, I’ve met many women and interviewed them on sex. The thing I felt after having conversations with them was only few people regard sex as a way of communication. Since 1980, women’s magazines have dealt with sex regularly. However, we still have a long way to go to change the stereotype of sex. In Japan, it is a taboo for women to talk about her sexual activities or to enjoy sex.

For me, I’ve been enjoying sex for a long time. It is probably very hard to find someone like me. Vice versa, it might be also very difficult to find someone who does not have sex at all. Most people would like to have sex and try to find a good way to have sex satisfying them. However, most of them get tired of finding a way and become sexless in the end.
There is a very famous proverb, “No Pain No Gain”. Like the proverb, people have to make many efforts if they want to have satisfying sex. In terms of ‘pain’ for women, they might be seen as a filthy person from others. However, on the other hand, in terms of ‘gain’, they will have a happier life as well as a closer relationship with their husbands.

Some people tend to believe sex is just for having a baby. They refuse to find any pleasure from sex. For these people, sex is a thing has to be ended firstly when they gave birth to children. With this way of thinking, it would be impossible for them to have sex during the period of parenting.

At some point, people find themselves ‘sexless’ suddenly and ask themselves. “Is it really ok to be like this?” or “If I want to have sex, will I look lustful?” It’s very common to see these kinds of people among in their 40’s. When people reached their 50’s, parenting ends, and it is followed by “too much” free time. It is just natural and instinctive for human desiring having sex when they feel easy and relaxed. However, now people feel very difficult to make love with their partners cause the have avoided it for a very long time. This is one of the major reasons for the high rate of immoral intimacy. They say “My husband does not treat me as a woman.” or “I cannot imagine having sex with my husband. There is no romance between us any longer.”

I will tell you a very funny story. We, women, when we are in our 20’s, tend to question our boyfriends, “Are you going out with me just for sex?” This is because young women think their body means a lot. However, when women are in their 40’s, they are disappointed if their boyfriends do not ask to have sex on a date. Middle–aged women tend to be encouraged by having sex because they tend to think they and their bodies are still attractive as a woman.

 

I married a foreign man and had lived overseas once. One of the shocking things I found after coming back to Japan was, there is no sex in the family at all. Japanese people try to find sex outside of the family boundary. It is very immortal of course.
It is very common to see husbands and wives having a walk holding their hands together. How many middle-aged husbands and wives have you seen today holding hands together? Japanese people avoid touching each other intentionally. We, Japanese, were not used to be like this. I’m terribly sorry for this.

Nobody knows when the time comes to be fond of having sex because the time is different from person to person. For me, the time came in my 20’s, and I enjoyed my sex life as much as I could. Sex is still very important to me because it is one the ways to communicate with my husband. Sex ties my husband and me close together, and it helps us to treat each other much tenderly. For my husband, sex also helps him to concentrate on his tasks at work very well. Having sex is absolutely beneficial for both husband and wife.

If you haven’t had sex with your spouse for a very long time, you might be brave before making love again. Some wives complain, “My husband had lost his sexual appetite long ago already.”
I’d like to advise them like this: “There is nobody who does not have a sexual desire.” And I’d like to suggest wives to seduce their spouses first. If you feel tough to get closer to your husband, try to be a best friend of his and build strong and firm friendship.

 

Now here we have another question. How can we build up a friendship with our spouse? The answer is very simple. “Never do what you don’t to your female friends to your spouse.” Let me give you some examples. Is there anybody who replies bluntly to your female friends? Is there anybody who ignore your female friends? Or is there anybody keeps your bad mood all day long? I’m 100% sure that nobody does. However, what about to your spouse? I also 100% sure that we do the three naughty things sometimes consciously and sometimes unconsciously.
Let’s stop doing these to our spouses. Instead, let’s start with what we do to our female friends. Going to movies, having something nice and tasty and so on. Getting emotionally close to your spouse should be the first if you would like to share the intimacy with him.

I think there are three kinds of sex. Firstly, just physical sex. If there is no emotional connection between you and your husband, sex might arise disgust you two. Regarding sex as a way of having a child can be an example of this. Secondly, sex with an emotional connection. Could you remember French people’s sex I told you? Sex with an emotional connection will make you feel easy and relaxed because you two are the people who can share pleasure and pain together. Lastly, ultimate sex. I’d like to define ultimate sex with as a soul connection. When you reach this level, insertion might not be the thing. Without any insertion, husband and wife feel the intimacy each other at the level of ultimate sex.

I urge you here today to decide “I will have happy sex with my partner from now on”. Everything begins with your decision. I hope all of you here experience a wonderful life with fascination sex with your partner indeed.